5 Things to Consider Before “Pulling the Goalie”

There’s a ton to consider before adding to your family. Now that Nolan is two, I get asked when we’re going to have another baby ALL THE TIME – by family, friends, and even complete strangers. We do want to have a second kid, but we’ve very intentionally and strategically made the choice to not get pregnant again – yet.

Here are five things you may want to think about before “pulling the goalie!”

1) Due Date

Statistically speaking, babies born in the fall have the best chance at succeeding in school, sports, etc because they’re the oldest when they start kindergarten. There’s a big difference between the skills and knowledge of a 6 year old (fall babies) and a 5 year old (spring/summer babies). By default, the older kids are held to a higher standard and pushed to learn more. Seen as “more capable,” they tend to be placed in special school programs, accelerated courses, and higher level sports teams.

Don’t get me wrong – Nolan was born in March, Justin was born in April, and I was born in May, and we have achieved plenty and live a very happy life. However, if I can do something to potentially increase my child’s chance of success then I think it’s worth a shot.

2) How Your Routine Will be Affected

Whether you have a long work commute, a happy hour habit, or a desire to be in bed by 10, adding a kid to your family will completely shake the details of your day-to-day routine. How well you’re able to manage those details can make the difference between whether you feel like you’re sinking or swimming.

Justin and I know our life is already chaotic and that throwing a second little one in the mix is going to make it even crazier. While pandemonium is inevitable, we’re hoping to tame it with timing. We can’t do much about the big stuff – work schedules, commutes, etc – but we can wait until Nolan’s schedule is a little more manageable. Things like getting him potty-trained and able to dress himself will make a huge difference.

3) Your Social Life

What does your current social life look like? Are you able to go on dates? Go out with friends? Travel?

While we may not get “adult” time as often as we did pre-baby, Justin and I are very lucky to get quite a bit of time to ourselves and with our friends without the responsibility of having a Nolan with us. We only have one kid to get to sleep or find a babysitter for. Adding a second little one will definitely rock that boat (even if temporarily), and right now we’re enjoying the fact that opportunities to go out, attend events, and travel are not totally out of the question.

4) Your Wallet

It’s hard to ignore the fact that kids cost money – a lot of it. We pay about $10K a year in childcare alone, so the idea of doubling that expense can be a little overwhelming. And college tuition is already something on our minds!

The timing of when you add a kid to the family can have a huge impact on your bank account. For example, if all goes according to plan (as if that ever happens!), the length of time we’ll pay for two kids to go to daycare will be minimal, and they probably won’t be in college at the same time! Even though we’ll ultimately pay the same amount, the timing of things should make those expenses a lot more manageable.

5) How Much You Enjoy the Way Things are Now

In the midst of the excitement of a new life adventure, sometimes we forget to really consider how we feel about how our life is right now. Think about how you feel about some of the other things I’ve mentioned – like your social life and financial comfort level. If you feel totally happy with your current situation then it’s important to think about if adding a child to your family is really what you want. Will having a baby make you feel better? Worse? More complete? More stressed?

We know we want another little one – both for us and for Nolan. That being said, we LOVE our life now. That’s partly why we aren’t quite ready to add another kiddo to the mix yet. We love the ease of our evenings and weekends. We love being able to savor every moment of Nolan’s new experiences. Simply, we love being a family of three. For now at least! 🙂

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